Jordan, as photographed through the MRI It has stalked her for five years, this amorphous sickness called cancer. She’s heard us whisper about it, exchange knowing glances, even openly discuss the process by which it challenges her as she goes about being a kid. But yesterday, for the first time, Jordan saw the disease with her own eyes. Staring into the luminescent glow of the computer screen, she smiled a little.

The results from the MRI are in, and Jordan’s condition is stable. It’s not a very attractive word: stable. No real sex appeal. But, in her case, it’s very good news. It means the drugs are working. When you combine the diagnosis with her buoyant personality and active behavior, stable is actually a very soothing word. She was quite pleased with the news – even left me a bubbly message to say so.

She goes in for MRI today. She has a lot of apprehension this time around. She asked about it constantly over the weekend, and bristled occasionally when she really thought about all that goes into it. It’s a sign that she’s getting older. She’s mature enough to know what’s going on. And she’s asked this time to see pictures from the scan. For $5, she’ll walk away with a disk full of images of the demon that stalks her everyday.

Tomorrow, she starts again. Early in the morning, she’ll have her breakfast, stay in her pajamas and ride with her mom to Children’s Hospital to resume chemotherapy. She had a nice break for the holidays, and particularly enjoyed her time away from the needle. But it’s time to start again.The start of every new year marks an odd anniversary for us. It was precisely five years ago that Jordan became symptomatic.

She has a smile that strikes you when you’re in the middle of exhaling and leaves you gasping for air. Sometimes, I watch her and she appears to move in slow motion. The gentle crinkles of her smiling mouth barely change the shape of her face. Her cheeks rise just enough to cast a light without dimming the gracefulness of her piercing eyes. When she smiles, it is with her whole face.