This is one of my favorite poems, and it captures how I feel about Jordan quite well. I’m not sure where I stand on religion these days. I’m a terrible Catholic. But this poem, by ee cummings, expresses so much of how I feel about my daughter. Somewhere I Have Never Traveled – W[Viva], XXIX somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

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Jordan checked out of pediatric ICU this evening around 6:00pm. She’s back in the oncology unit on the 4th floor of Children’s Hospital. She is very happy to be back near a television that has more than one kids channel. When I left, she was engaged in a Sponge Bob Square Pants marathon. Her health was much improved. Other than a little nausea, she was far more lively. It was a good day for the whole family to catch its breath and recuperate.

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If you were hoping to read a positive entry from me today, you should click on to another URL. I’m dour and angry, resentful and dramatic. I usually try to dig deep down and find a bright side to share with friends and family, to keep everyone thinking good thoughts. But today was a bad day. My little girl is suffering and I’m tired of trying to help others feel better about our situation.

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…(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun’s birthday… – ee cummings, XAIPE, 65 It was a good day. Certainly better than yesterday. And people who know tell me to take one day at a time. In chronological order: (1) my youth soccer team won its match 7-4, putting my boys 3-0 for the season; (2) my USC Trojans beat the Bears 23-17, putting them 5-0 for the season; and, (3) Jordan was alert for part of the day, smiling and nearly her same old self.

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Jordan’s surgery went well. She was in the O.R. for nearly four hours. She will spend the next 24 hours in the pediatric ICU for observation. She’s sleeping heavily and not having any major pain. Everyone expects her to recover from the surgery quickly and without complications. The rest of the news is not so good. The neurosurgeon’s opinion is that we are dealing with a diffuse, inoperable brain tumor. It is inoperable for two reasons: (1) it is not focalized in any one specific area, and (2) some of the tumorous lesions are in areas that are out of reach for the surgical team, and dangerous to toy with.

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